05/12/2007

Mother's Day is tomorrow. The day has gained significance since Nathan's birth as I, as a Mother, have suddenly become the celebrated. When you have young children I think Mother's Day is a celebration (or recognition) of the daily, monotonous, thankless tasks: changing diapers, giving baths, preparing and spoon-feeding meals, holding hands to guide unsure feet, and kissing the inevitable 'owies' of growing up. Being a Mommy to Nathan is rarely glamorous. I find that I simultaneously wish he would grow up quickly and stay young forever. This probably makes sense to every Mom.

My Mom had the "privilege" of raising two children: one with ADD and the other with ADHD. This is a special calling. Any sort of attention deficit disorder makes daily tasks additionally difficult as completing them seems impossible...there are just so many distractions along the way. The 'hyper' part belonged to my brother. Endless energy combined with the typical curiosity of youth is a volatile mix. I don't think one day a year is adequate to thank a Mom who dealt with...well...us! Kyle and I: stubborn and impatient: messy and conniving: busy and up to 'no good.' We've really no choice but to rise up and call her 'blessed.' It is a miracle that we both lived through childhood. Kyle regularly put his own life in danger. I am Obsessive Compulsive and always thought my life was in danger. Too bad they didn't figure out I needed medicine until I was out of the house. I've just been reflecting on some of the situations that my Mom had to deal with. They should have caused gray hair...I'm graying just thinking about them:

--The day Kyle hung himself. Mom, do you remember this? I think the scenario involved rope tied to the banister of the stairway and something about descending the 'mountain'. I'm not sure the details were ever totally ironed out, but we found Kyle dangling from a rope (thank goodness tied around his waist!) into the abyss of the stairwell.

--The night I thought I had contracted Mad Cow Disease. This was a lesson learned in never allowing me to watch a documentary on health issues. We had Fillet Mignon for dinner and I was absolutely convinced that it had been tainted and I would surely die. There was some sort of tidbit that I kept referring back to: something about not being able to bring your hands together because of equilibrium problems. I can't recall exactly what it was...but I was up to the wee hours of the night making sure I could still remember my middle name, phone number, birth date, etc. That was really a trying night for both Mom and me.

--The time (or should I say times...MANY times) that Kyle cracked his head open. How one person manages to have their head in the wrong place at the wrong time as often as he did I will never know! Christmas on a stair edge. Elementary school on a door knob. Tee-ball practice on a...tee-ball, I think. The list is endless and probably has some repeat scenarios. Kids aren't always quick learners. If we gave Kyle a buzz-cut, all the scars on his head would probably form some sort of treasure map with X marking the location of the nearest hospital.

I'll stop listing in detail as we could be here all day. My Mom also patiently dealt with broken windows, broken garage doors, near-death experiences of the real and imagined sorts, flooded basements (not a 'natural' disaster), and all other manner of creative havoc that one could imagine. Many of the situations are hilarious now, but to deal with this sort of thing on a daily basis is NOT hilarious...quite the opposite. My Mom, of course, also helped mold us spiritually and taught us lifelong lessons. She tried teaching us manners, but those didn't stick. Now as I deal with my own busy toddler I more fully appreciate the countless hours of Mothering that were required to make me the person I am.

On a different note, as I am pregnant with our daughter Nia, I am remembering another Mom who we cannot thank. I wish I knew the stories that Nick's Mom, Nia Ann, would probably share if she were still here. What trouble did Nick get in? What were his annoying habits? When did she need to rescue him? What scared him? I wish I knew these things. I wish I could tell this Mom, who I have never known, that I thank her for the part she played in raising a son who I love very much. I think she would be proud of him...proud of the role he plays as a Daddy and a husband. Proud of him for being a hard worker and for encouraging his family to pursue God. Someday we will have eternity to share the stories of her children and her grandchildren with her...but especially on Mother's Day...I wish I could just have the chance to give her a hug.

Carol Jones, my Mother-in-Law who shares no genetic relationship with my little family at all, has been a gift from God in my life. She has been a confidant, a friend, a shoulder to cry on, and a source of wisdom. I hear stories, you know, of stereotypical Mothers-in-Law who are the source of family conflict and irritation. I think Carol is rather the opposite: a peacemaker. I love and appreciate the way you were willing to love and care for your step-children and your step-children-in-law. Really, we just think of ourselves as your kids.

So, to all the Moms who have influenced my life: Happy Mother's Day!