It is 3AM. I'm awake and feeling somber. This past week has been full of incredible trials and incredible triumphs. Not all weeks are so eventful, and in many ways, I'm glad. It is strange to watch God's hand as it orders the universe wisely and puzzlingly. And so, in the middle of the night, I'm thinking of a song...
"Maybe I was made this way: to think, and to reason, and to question, and to pray.
And I have never prayed a lot, but maybe there's a loving God.
And that may be a foolish thought...
Or maybe there is a God."
I remember when I first discovered this song. It was in a piano book that I had purchased. As I struggled to play notes I wasn't familiar with, I found myself immersed in a song that flawlessly mirrored much of my life. Lack of total confidence. But, hope. Many, many questions. But, calm. Much chaos, confusion, wickedness, discomfort, and foolishness. But, GOD.
As my mind spins at 3AM bogged down with weight that I don't wish to carry and sadness that I'd like to throw to the wind, I'm reminded that whether or not I understand, there is a God...and He is good. Simple is profound.
God is so good.
God is so good.
God is so good, He's so good to me.
Nathan Paul
10/10/2005
Nia Madelynn
08/27/2007
Lottie Caroline
11/03/2008
Liam Calvin
03/25/2010
Nixon Kyle
10/16/2014
3 comments:
I couldn't sleep last night either, which is very unusual for me ... and you often came to mind, Rachel, and so I prayed. I am unable to access my e-mail account for some reason today, or I would have written something personal to you there. Today is Thursday, and I'll just increase the prayers regarding the burden you are bearing. And yes, I agree -- God is good, all of the time, always and forever.
God is good, all the time. I know I've been saying that same thing to myself a lot lately too. I will be praying hard for you.
How is Kyle doing? Is he over the food poisioning yet?
Everything OK over there in Houston? It is unusual for our prolific Rachel to be so silent ... my "mother" heart is missing hearing what is happening at your end of the world ...
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