05/07/2008

I'm a 'jotter.' I jot thoughts, prayers, quotes, and random ramblings in the strangest places. I find these little remnants of thought scribbled on book margins, on small pieces of paper, typed into a nameless word document, etc. Tonight I came across a book that I read several years ago. It is full of scribbles. I perused the jottings. Some that struck me:

"God, You know I love to 'talk' through the issues with you. Sometimes even after I've clearly heard You speak...I'm still asking questions. Help me to learn to be quiet--and just WALK."

"One request: Give me the wisdom, grace, and maturity to reflect Your Son even when You don't spare me my cross."

"I think that taking up my cross is a continual thing. Sometimes, when I'm tired, I set the cross down. But I know I shouldn't. Help me to bear my cross continually."

"God, help me to experience truth. Moreover, help me to recognize truth even when I don't experience it, but only hear it."

"...maybe my own power would suffice, but even if it did, would not YOUR power be all the greater?"

"I need continual grace--whether or not this means I soar. Just happy to plod provided I'm plodding in the direction You are pointing."

"There is nothing so precious to me that You will not be its avowed enemy if it is keeping me from Your plan for my life. Thank you!"

"You know my heart--the prayers I won't write down." This one struck me the most.

(a list of God-names from a favorite song on one page) "Elbow-healer, Super hero, Heartache-healer, secret keeper, Shepherd, Savior, Pasture-maker, Creator, Maker, Life-Sustainer, Comforter, Healer, Redeemer, Lord, King, Beginning, End. I AM."

"...I know what it is to be more comfortable with bondage than freedom. Take that inclination away from me."

"...Some days I would like to abandon my cross. Sometimes it weighs too much. Sometimes it's too embarrassing. Sometimes I want to give in and commit whatever sin would take my cross off for a while. But when I decided to follow, I became one with the cross--and now, it is the cross I report to for those very times when I have tried to take it off."

"Beincarnation: 'I hope the world sees Jesus today, and I hope it looks a lot like me.'"

This little trek through my own history proved encouraging to me tonight. Guess I'll keep on jotting!