04/24/2007

I should be napping, but my mind is working overtime. I regularly lay down only to find that my ADHD mind is causing the wheels to spin at a speed not conducive to sleep. It's not that I'm worried or particularly plagued by one thought, it is really just a barrage of thoughts, ideas, plans, etc. that won't slow down. Hooray for having a restless personality--it does this sort of thing to you.

Yesterday was even worse. I was so frustrated that I decided to try 'counting sheep.' Now, I'm not very practiced in this, and really had no idea how to count sheep, but due to the popularity of the technique, I thought it worth a shot. First problem: What do you count the sheep doing? Just standing in a pasture? Do they take turns rolling over or performing some other sort of trick? Do we count them as they are sheared? I opted to count them jumping over a fence. I admit to being a bit perplexed as I questioned whether or not sheep had the athletic ability to jump over anything--let alone a fence. I decided not to research it further, and just made the fence a very short fence. Surely, I thought, a sheep of average physical prowess could make it over a foot-high fence. Next, I had a little trouble organizing the sheep. I tried telling them to form a single-file line, but a mind-block prevented me from imagining the sheep all lining up. I decided they could just form a large clump--a herd--and I would just try my best to insist they jump one at a time...you know, to make counting them simpler. The process continued to gain complexity and was rather problematic: some sheep couldn't jump over the fence and would get stuck (how do you count that....is a stuck sheep worth 1/2?), or would fall. Some were scared to jump. Sometimes two or three headed toward the fence at the same time. Sometimes some of the sheep that had already jumped over the fence once, decided to jump over it again and head back to the herd. If counting sheep works for anyone reading this, please let me know your particular technique. It was obvious I was over thinking what was intended to be a simple and soothing task.

Sheep are supposedly among some of the stupidest animals to ever live. I bet they have no problem napping. I bet they aren't thinking of anything, ever. I bet the only species that finds sheep counting soothing, are sheep themselves. For one, there is the obvious convenience: If you are a sheep, you can look around your herd and COUNT yourselves. But secondly, they aren't concerned with details. They just barely have enough common sense to get through mundane tasks and activities. They are just the type of creature who has very little need for a nap, but has no difficulty taking one. And then there is me. I suppose it is some consolation that I have enough cognitive activity to prevent sleep...but, really, was the Theory of Relativity born of a sleep-deprived man? I think not. It seems in order to remain above-average, we are required to sleep. Yet, having above-average brain activity prevents just that! A vicious cycle, don't you agree?

I tell you, these Jones grandchildren are destined to have difficult lives. We can't help it that we are all so intelligent, right Sabrina? I think it might be Boppa's fault that the Jones' kids are this way. As for me, the McNeil intelligence is really only comparable to that of, well, the Jones' intelligence. Nathan is already showing signs of possessing the unique inquisitive nature of a genius. He can take off his own shoes, you know. Brace yourself, world, this is going to be a generation like no other. You might want to practice saying, "Mr. President Jones, Sir, how does it feel to have just won the Nobel Prize?"