05/07/2007

These past few weeks, Nick and I have had multiple occasions where we discussed how we wanted to live as a family...especially in regard to finances and 'things.' Sermons, things people have commented in passing, etc., have encouraged us to take the time to discuss what our ultimate goals were. It was a wonderful thing for us to find that in the area of finances, we have much the same idea. Financial issues are the #1 reason for divorce, and so it is good to regularly communicate and be on the same page. I have written on one of the pages of my Bible the following quote by Jonathan Edwards:

"Resolved, that I will live so, as I shall wish I had done when I come to die."

After we lost a significant amount of money selling our house in Rockford, MI, we were forced to learn something about budgeting and living a simpler, less extravagant life. There were times when doing without was painful: to my pride, to my comfort, to my convenience. Nick and I were both accustomed to having nice things, lots of things, and...impulsively. We were able to have lots of instant gratification. Having lived that way for a while now, I am able to say that in a multitude of ways, I prefer not having so much. I look back and can see what a waste it was to spend, and spend, and spend on me! Because we have had the chance to see lean times, our idea of what we would like in times of abundance has really changed. Priorities shifted...for the better I think...and we are learning a difficult, but most significant lesson: it is not all about us. In fact, it is not even a little bit about us. So, 'how then shall we live?'

We would like, someday, to have a house. We want to wait until we're in a situation where buying a home will not leave us with a whopper of a mortgage...and to that same end, we don't really care to have a big, impressive home. Nick and I are both creative. Our primary desire in a dwelling place is that it be a comfortable space for children to have fun and create artwork (aka messes), a place where balls can be kicked inside and where dogs can sleep on the furniture. We want a home that leaves almost no impression in the mind of a visitor with the one exception being the thought that, "That house is sure fun!" We designed our 'dream house' together, and if we ever get the opportunity, we would like to build this house. It is 1,700 square feet...small bedrooms, but nice open spaces for hanging out with friends and family. It is still far more than we need, but with the current trend being huge houses in master-planned communities, we both agreed that we would prefer to live in our fun, adobe-style house. "Even if we were billionaires."

As for cars, we neither posses affection or competitiveness when it comes to automobiles. Someday, I would like it if both Nick and I could have a car, but if you've seen how well I take care of my car you would know: really, it means very little to me. Nick thinks that someday he would like to fix up an old VW bug and drive it around. We are both 'project' people! It's fun, though, and usually it saves money! Excellent all around! So, I guess we'd like one old VW and some sort of normal mid-size for the kids and me. "Even if we were billionaires."

As for clothing, I love the clearance rack at Old Navy...especially for kids. They grow out of clothes so quickly. I also love consignment shops and hand-me-downs. We don't spend much on toys, and even before discussing finances we had come up with this policy: Nathan has one toy bucket, and when that bucket is full, he doesn't get a new toy until something else gets thrown, or given, away. We will buy a bucket for Nia, too, and the same rule will apply. At Christmastime I intend to have my children go through their toys and determine which ones we could give away to kids who would otherwise receive nothing for Christmas. One bucket only! "Even if we were billionaires."

What will we do with the extra money? I can honestly say that the thing I miss most about having an abundance is that it limits the amount I can give...to church, to missionaries, to individuals. We have considered adoption on several occasions and might put some of our money toward that (it's strange how expensive adoption can be!). What it all boiled down to was this: At the end of our lives, will we feel more fulfilled if we lived in the nicest house on the block, drove the fastest cars, had the most expensive wardrobe, etc.? Nope. Nick and I came to this conclusion: We will only look back and feel fulfilled if we did everything we could do to point to Jesus. I know wonderful people who live in big houses and drive fancy cars, and I don't fault them...but I know that if I let myself head down that path, that my instinct would be begin thinking (consciously or otherwise) that it is all about me. Instead, as a hedge, we have set our guidelines now for what we will not allow ourselves to have, and thus, we free up any abundance bestowed on us to be used in the manner that would best honor the Father. This conclusion has been priceless in our marriage...it is foundational that we are walking down the same path and that we want to work together as one entity..."even if we were billionaires."