05/09/2007

3:30AM. The world around me is asleep, but not me. I'm up with the baby--not Nathan, but Nia. I had hoped she wouldn't leave me sleepless until after she was born, but she's out to get me tonight. She is using her quickly developing muscles to attack not only every inch of my belly, but also every inch of my bladder. Couldn't we postpone this fun until the sun comes up? I wish I could feed her and put her back to bed, but as it turns out, she IS in bed--it just so happens we will be sharing close sleeping quarters for the next couple months.

"Nia Madelynn, if you and I are going to get along, we need to set a few guidelines. That place that you are kicking just now...yes, that one...that's Mommy's bladder. It is strictly off limits! Mommy is okay with you practicing martial arts on her belly, but avoid the bladder at all costs! You are very strong--good growing!--let's just try to remember that Mommy doesn't have bladder-muscles of steel, alright?

Also, sweet Nia, I think you'll agree that Mommy is more pleasant when she's been allotted her necessary eight hours of sleep at night. You've totally thrown off my REM cycle, and that casts a shadow on tomorrow. Your Daddy and Nathan are begging you to let your Mother sleep. They have to deal with me, too, you know! Even if you aren't tired, maybe you could use the nighttime to play quiet games that involve only small movements: twiddling your thumbs, rolling your tongue, and crossing your eyes would all be good options with the obvious benefit that you would be born able to impress a kindergarten class on show-and-tell day.

During the day Mommy is happy to play with you...I'm up with Nathan anyway. (He is the one who you regularly hear yelling.) We'll all have fun and get along well if you are able to control yourself at night. This is good practice for after you are born, too. If you think it's unfortunate that I'm grumpy now, just wait until you can see what I look like in the middle of the night. You have a great advantage in this stomach that covers your eyes from the horror of my bedhead and makeup-less face (which is construed into a less-than-pleasant expression at this hour of the morning). Believe me, it doesn't take long to learn that THIS Mommy...your Mommy...is no fun when she's tired. Try bugging Daddy. He is much more pleasant at 3AM. But until such a time as that is an option, please lay your little head down and go na-night. Kisses. Let's not talk again until well after 9, okay?"