04/16/2007

Nathan has become a Mama's Boy. I haven't the foggiest notion why. He was always totally in awe of his Dada--showering him with sloppy kisses and pleading for his attention with upraised hands. I came in second and was showered with flying food and was regularly begged to set Nathan down so he could waddle off in search of Dada. I secretly wondered where I had failed. Don't most children adore their mother? But, in the past few weeks, rightful attention and praise have been given to yours truly. And now, having had the privilege of a fan club, I'm ready for Nathan to love Daddy the most again.

Nathan has decided to be 'Mommy's Little Helper.' What seems to be problematic is that not once have I found his assistance to be useful. My little shadow follows me around the house seeking to imitate my every move. In the past couple days alone, Nathan has added his own touch to the tasks of vacuuming (pulled the plug twice and competed with me for control of the nozzle), dusting (stole my dust rag and used it on the couch), cleaning the bathtub (got inside the tub and dragged a washcloth around while simultaneously drooling M&M remains into the tub), flushing the toilet (invades Mom's privacy, throws additional TP into the toilet for good measure, and then flushes six times or until pulled away...whichever comes first), emptying the dishwasher (removes clean dishes and sets them on the floor), walking the dog (we co-hold the leash and Nathan attempts to drag the Great Dane to wherever his desired destination may be), typing on the computer (presses the same button so many times that the 'sticky-key' alert flashes and then he turns off the power strip thus disenabling computer and all related technology), and cooking dinner (empties the cupboards of any dish, pot, pan, or canned good that he feels may be an asset to the meal preparation). Progress is slow and tedious. I am left asking, "Why me?"

Nick, however, is enjoying his freedom from the busy toddler. Though at first Nathan's attention was flattering, I now sympathize with all that Nick dealt with. The real issue is that for whomever is Nathan's idol, there is no rest. You can try to reason with him: "Nathan, Mommy could clear the table much quicker if you weren't holding onto my leg." It is to no avail. You can try to distract him: "Nathan, why don't you sit down and read this book. See, look, the pictures are SO pretty." Attention span: 3 seconds. No good. That leaves only one solution: try to include him. It is by no means ideal, but it must suffice.

So, if anyone is interested, I have a little boy for rent. You can't keep him permanently, but he's very handy around the house and is willing to try almost anything. He is particularly fond of projects that have an opportunity for advancement (ex. -- while we were dusting, his little eyes were begging for the chance to be the Pledge dispenser). He is available for a very minimal fee (which, depending on how much we like you may be waived entirely). Feel free to contact me for more information.